Love the one you're with...

Today has been a really pretty fantastic day. I had the opportunity to have 2 great conversations with friends—one old, one new.

The first was with a friend with whom I used to work and thankfully have kept in touch with though I have switched jobs twice since we met. We had lunch today and I think maybe the last time I saw her was almost 2 years ago! A lot has changed since then. When she last saw Olivia, she was just learning to crawl and pull up. Now, my friend has her own daughter! I get to keep up with her on Facebook and I’ve loved getting to share in her journey as a new mom. It’s been fun to see the wonderful girl she is raising.

We had so much wonderful conversation today about work and life and parenthood. We were talking about some of the insanity that is motherhood. We have daughters who are very different. My friend’s daughter has been sleeping peacefully through the night since she was like 3 weeks old and she is a pretty easy going kid so far. I don’t mean to diminish any struggles they might have. I’m sure their sweet girl gives them a run for their money at times! And though she sleeps well, their daughter has had a few food issues. Now, she’s only 8 months old so this will likely clear up but I just thought, “Wow, I don’t know what I would have done if Lady Loco had had food issues!” And my friend thought, “Wow, I don’t know what I would have done if my daughter had sleep issues!”

We just laughed at how you always think you know what you can and can’t handle in parenthood and how really you end up handling it no matter what. Because, as my friend put it, God gives you the kid you can handle. So true.

The other conversation was with a brand new friend as of tonight. This new friend is the new husband of a very near and dear friend. This was my first time to meet him and I am so excited I got to! He’s a great fit for her and I’m happy to have him on my list of friends now too!

Tonight, as Olivia was running around us being completely adorable, he said that his wife had told him that we didn’t baby talk Olivia and he just really liked that. We talked about how kids are people too and how they should be treated like the grown-ups we want them to eventually become (with some limitations of course, but all the same).

His own daughter is in a wheelchair due to cerebral palsy and he said one of the most ridiculous things that people do is that they walk up to her and baby talk her or speak really slowly like she’s hard of hearing—even though she’s 19! He shared with me that it’s taken him and her a while to find an appropriate response for this but they have found a way to be comfortable in those situation. He also told me that he really loves and appreciates his daughter for all that she is—wheelchair included.

It struck me tonight that this is one of the key elements to finding joy in Parenthood: love your kid NO MATTER who they are.

Some kids are going to have sleep issues and some are not. Some will be super geniuses and some will struggle or simply be ‘average.’ Some will be physically strong and some will be physically challenged. The point is, as my friend at lunch put it, God gives us the kid we can handle.

And I’ll stop to admit that I have no idea what it’s like to have a special needs child or a child with a handicap. But I hope I’ll have the peace and gratitude for the life of my child like my new friend this evening does for his child who lives every day in a wheelchair.  I hope I continue to have the peace and gratitude for my child with all of her current insanity.

It’s no use comparing your kid to others—you get what you see. Kids are the most incredible kind of person because they are exactly as they appear. They aren’t like us adults with all of our layers and our baggage and our issues. They are just themselves at all times.

I’m confident enough to say that my sweet Boss Lady has some traits that some folks may think they couldn’t live with. But while she and we may not be perfect, our little family is perfect for each other.