I am who I am

Tonight I had the pleasure of spending a happy hour with my team at work. They really are a great group and I am blessed to work with such genuine and wonderful people. I mean that sincerely. I've worked in a lot of different situations and teams in the 11 years I've been in the workforce and this team I'm on now is made of up of some quality folks. 

As we ate dinner and enjoyed our drinks we all got to talking about life and work and everything in between. And the subject of this blog came up and some of my coworkers know about it and others don't and on the drive home I started to get a little anxious about how much I share here since it's accessible to pretty much anyone. But then I stopped and realized that it doesn't really matter what I share on here because if you ever met me, you'd pretty much figure it all out in about 12 seconds anyway. 

Whether I am on this blog or out with family or hanging with friends of working with my team, I am the same person. There's not a Me for this certain occasion or a Me for that occasion. I'm just Me at all times in all circumstances. It's why I could never be in politics. I just don't have the ability to be anything but ME. 

I'm not sure I had that confidence before I became a mom. There's something about motherhood that has given me the confidence to own who I am at all times. Sometimes I'm funny and sometimes I'm just plain weird. Sometimes I'm outgoing and sometimes I want to be left alone. Sometimes I'm confident to the point of arrogance and sometimes I doubt myself. And this is me. All of me. Complex and a little crazy and just right here for everyone to see. 

So if the whole world is reading this and making their own judgments, that's okay. I know who I am and I'm proud to be that person. I feel blessed to be able to share my life, my struggles, my triumphs. Maybe we live in a world that's a little too buttoned up. Maybe we should share more. Who cares if someone sees you a little off your A-game? I don't need to be perfect but I always need to be sincere. 

For me that means putting my life out here, for all of you to see. It means embracing the woman/wife/mom that I am. It means shaking off the fear of judgement or rejection. Yes, sometimes here I doubt myself or wonder if people will think one thing when I mean something else. I write though because it helps me to process this crazy Land of Parenthood. 

Like I'm sure right now that all of you can understand that I have a Gremlin shouting at me about cheesesticks and how I should get off of the "compuger" so we can watch Barney. I'm not sure that has any deep and wonderful meaning but it's my life and I'll embrace that too!