Today would have been my dad's 55th birthday. He's no longer here to celebrate with his annual crawfish boil but that doesn't mean we can't still celebrate a man who lived life with his whole heart.
I miss him even more now that I am a parent myself and I see more and more just how great a parent he truly was. He's taught me a lot about being a parent just through some of my memories and I can't tell you how many times a week I wish I could call him to tell him the crazy things his granddaughter is doing. I'd love to be able to call and let him know that I fully understand the line he wrote in my baby book about how I was "...a good baby, now if only she would stop crying..."
A few years after he died, I was talking with my cousin and she told me that in the last year of my dad's life, he was really sick. She said there were days he could barely get out of bed and that everyone saw him deteriorating. This was shocking to me. Every time I had seen my dad during that last year, he seemed to be doing so great. He had high spirits, a smile on his face, and his famous happy-go-lucky attitude. I told her that I was surprised to hear about such a different personality. That's when she told me that whenever my sister and I would come visit, he would suddenly transform. He would go from being bed-ridden to up and happy and in good spirits. Knowing that nearly broke my heart and made me even more in awe of him all at the same time.
That's the kind of parent my daddy was. He didn't let anything get in the way of loving Michelle and me. Though I certainly never would have expected him to put his own pain and suffering aside for us, I am so thankful that the last few years we had with him are filled with only happy memories. I understand now, as a parent, what a sacrifice that was.
I've mentioned that I've had some bad back pain lately. While that doesn't even compare to dying of cancer, I can imagine how my dad was able to put aside his own pain for us. Everytime I see Olivia, I know that I can keep pushing through. I still get on the floor with her and play with her even though I can feel the ache in my back. I won't miss these times with her for anything in the world. Her smile helps me to forget some of the discomfort of this back pain.
Today, I want to celebrate the man who taught me so much about being a parent. I want to celebrate the man who taught me so many things about how to live life with a smile on your face, even when you get thrown a curveball.
And I want to say thank you...
For building tents with us in the living room. For taking every mop, broom, rake, shovel, and sheet in the house and making us the coolest Gypsy tent village in the living room. I always felt like I was on an adventure every time I was with you.
For watching the same cartoons with us one million billion trillion times and never acting like you were bored. For quoting the lines along with the characters and acting surprised when you already knew the plot.
For taking us fishing even though we squealed every time we thought a spider was on us. For taking us hunting even though we were really loud and scared away all of the animals. For warning us BEFORE we put it on that the "cologne" we thought was so interesting was actually deer pee.
For all of the times that you drove a 16 hour round trip just to pick us up to spend just one week with you. For the times that you started your drive at 2 a.m. so you could be at our house when we woke up. For always greeting us with a huge smile and hug even though you must have been exhausted.
For never actually spanking us after pulling the car over because we were fighting/yelling/complaining/acting like maniacs. For the times that you saw our wide eyes and trembling chins looking at you from the backseat and letting us off the hook...again.
For eating all of those gross pb&j lunches I used to make you. For always being so appreciative of anything we did or made for you. For always making us feel like we were helpful and worthwhile.
For teaching me that you should always do the right thing, even when it's hard. For telling me once that the way you knew you had done the right thing that day was if you could go to sleep without any problems that night. For not just telling me, but for being an amazing example.
For teaching me that life isn't about how much you have but about how much you give, how much you smile and laugh, and how much you love. For leaving this world incredibly wealthy by those standards.
For touching so many lives that people I had never met and who had only met you once or twice came to your funeral and told me what an impact you had had on them. For touching the hearts of nurses who swore they would never be at a patient's funeral but came to yours.
For remembering us in your last moments on this earth. For "making pizza" with us on your way home to God. For being a phenomenal parent until your very last moment.
Thank you for all of this and so much more, Daddy. Happy Birthday! I love you and miss you.
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