"Steph, she just threw up all over herself." Neat. Just what every person wants to hear after a 2 Hour Bedtime Battle with their 5 month old. Now, before you start feeling all sorry for The Boss Lady, she was NOT sick. She had just worked herself up into such a frenzy that she actually threw up. She's done it before so it shouldn't have come as a surprise, I guess.
So, there we were at 10:30 at night, changing the sheets, running the bath water, and washing the puke out of the hair of our daughter. And I thought that only happened in college.
After she was cleaned up, we put her in a clean pair of pajamas. Despite the fact that she had been carrying on like a Gremlin since 8:30 when we tried to put her to bed, she was all smiles in the tub and as we re-dressed her in her pj's. We looked at each other and back at her. What the heck was going on?
This same child who, only moments before, had been screeching so loud that she made herself THROW UP, was smiling up at us, grabbing her toes, and "talking" away.
Ladies & gentelmen, we had just been played. By a 5 month old.
At Olivia's 2 month check up, I remember her doctor saying "Babies come out knowing how to do 4 things: eat, sleep, poop, & manipulate." We are here to tell you that this is entirely true. I don't mean to say bad things about my sweet girl but it's clear that we are that age with her where she knows what gets our attention.
That night, every time we were in the room with her, holding her, she was fine, happy even. I watched her watch me walk out of the room and the second I was outside of her doorway, she began the Demon Scream. And it's no longer just her regular Demon Scream. It's the Super Sonic Demon Scream. She's learned how to scream and she loves doing it all of the time. During the day, her screams are just for fun. But at night, after you've been awake and working for the past 16 hours, she couples her scream with a good cry and there you have it: Super Sonic Demon Scream.
That was Monday. And here I am, this fine Wednesday evening, sitting next to the baby monitor listening to my sweet girl cry her little heart out. Oh, except for now. Because daddy just went in to check on her. But I know that the second he walks out of the room, it'll start again.
The most frustrating thing about this is that we had such a wonderful bedtime routine going just one week ago. We would go in her room, turn on her rain music, dim the lights, and she would nurse herself to sleep. It was peaceful and wonderful and now it's over. We have asked ourselves multiples times the past 3 nights why this is happening now. Why after several months of enjoyable evenings are we suddenly having this issue? Hadn't we established a great routine?
Which brings us to Parenting Lesson #512:
Babies are NOT creatures of habit. You may have a "routine" but your kid could really give a crap. All of these "routines" are really just for our sanity. It's really just a way of us trying to reclaim some level of control over our lives. And occasionally, your sweet angel will grasp one of those routines and you'll be in seventh heaven thinking that life couldn't get any better. Then, that same sweet angel will switch things up on you as if to say, "Let's not forget who's really in charge around here. I own you, beyotch."
But, okay, so here's the silver lining in this circus tent I call my life: This too shall pass--just like everything else in this crazy land of parenthood. Because kids don't have habits, this will also stop and we'll eventually be back in seventh heaven. We'll enjoy every minute of that time and we'll make it through these tough times too.
Besides, every morning I wake up so excited to see The Boss Lady's sweet smile. She's always so excited to see me in the morning. The day after her throw up episode was no exception and that big grin reminded me that even the bad stuff is worth it. I picked her up and she smiled at me the entire time and it seemed that our crazy episode from the night before never even happened and all was forgiven.
We sat on the couch, she nursed, we snuggled. She looked straight into my eyes, smiled, and then threw up all over my lap. Huh. Maybe she hadn't forgotten about the night before after all. Cue the circus music.
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