We have seen so many changes in the tiny little person we brought home from the hospital. She is growing so quickly now and things seem to change overnight. She rolls over all of the time and is constantly giggling. She is so energetic and chatty. Everyone at her daycare tells us what a happy, talkative, and energetic kid we have!
Often, I'll pull up pictures of her when we were still in the hospital and we marvel at how much our sweet pea has changed in just 5 months. She hardly even looks like the same baby.
While Oli's been changing, I've noticed a few significant changes in myself. I've mentioned that my mom made an observation that I'm a lot less OCD than I used to be. She didn't use that term but I will. I am a total OCD Control Freak by nature and I think Olivia is helping me relax just a little. While my friend, Darci, was in town, I realized she had noticed it as well. I was telling her that my mom had noticed my more relaxed attitude and Darci said "Yeah, I noticed you even let me put away the groceries and you NEVER used to let me do that." I have chuckled about that since she said it. It's true. I didn't even used to be able to let someone help me put away groceries! Jeez, Steph.
It feels good to let go a little bit. I simply can't do it all anymore. And my family and friends still love me!
The biggest change I've noticed in myself is that I feel more content and at peace with my life. I don't just mean that I'm more happy. I've definitely had a ton to be happy about in the last 5 months. I mean something deeper and more lasting than that.
See, happiness is a fleeting feeling. There's lots that I can be happy about--a chocolate bar, pay day, seeing my Oli smile. But all of those things are temporary. As bright as Olivia's smile is, she doesn't do it ALL of the time.
Contentedness and peacefulness is more than happiness. It means being at peace and happy with what I have RIGHT NOW. We live in a culture of The Next Best Thing. We are always working toward the next house, the next car, the next job. Rarely, do we take the time to just be IN the moment. I am especially guilty of this. I am so goal oriented that I often forget that most of the fun in achieving a goal is the journey to get there.
I've been guilty of living for the next moment and forgetting what's in front of me at times. But having a baby has changed that for me. Suddenly, I want the current moment to go by VERY slowly. With each passing moment, my sweet girl grows more and more. While I'm excited for each new stage, I also feel like I want her to remain my sweet little baby forever. I suddenly relish every moment of my life. I try to stay in the moment at all times because these moments are going by so quickly.
I suddenly find that I am totally okay with not having my house perfectly clean or not having things completely in order. I still have goals and things I'd like to accomplish but I don't feel like it all needs to be done right this second. I am content to spend a Saturday in my pj's, drinking coffee with Mike, and doing the hokey pokey with Olivia.
My life is amazing and I am learning to slow down and enjoy every moment. I'm learning to be happy with whatever life throws at me each day.
One of the great things about having The Boss Lady around is that every day feels like a new adventure and every day my heart fills more with love for this incredible little girl. I love watching my sweet angel baby change. We are changing and growing together as a family and it's the most incredible feeling in the world.
Happy 5 Month Birthday to my Sweet Pea!
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