But, this past weekend was also a HUGE first for Mike and me!!! As you know, Wednesday was our anniversary and we wanted to do something fun to celebrate. The past 2 years, we've taken a trip and that was definitely out of the question this year. So, we decided on a local stay-cation of sorts.
We booked a wine tour in Grapevine for their annual Hallo-Wine tour AND we booked a room at the Gaylord for Saturday night! That's right, it was our FIRST night away from our Sweet Pea!!! My sister and her husband stayed with Oli and I'm happy to report that everyone did GREAT!!!
I have to admit that I was a little nervous going into the weekend. All I had heard from other mom-friends was that the first time away from their child was very tough. And I have to admit that I probably stalled a little leaving the house. I was torn. On one hand, I was so excited to have a day and night with just Mike. On the other, I would miss my sweet girl while I was gone.
After several last minute instructions for my sister and brother-in-law and much prodding from Mike we finally headed out the door!
When we left the house, I was determined not to worry myself sick all day about how Olivia was getting on. I was determined not to cry on the way to the wineries and not to call every half hour to check in. And I didn't do either of those things!!!
BUT, since my sister sometimes knows me better than I know myself, she texted pictures of my angel periodically throughout the day to let me know that things were going well. And for that, I could not be more grateful.
The wine tour was fantastic and I was excited to learn that I'm an extremely cheap drunk now! After nearly a year of not drinking, I was nice and fuzzy after about my 5th tasting. We ate and drank our way through the wineries of Grapevine and then headed to Bob's Chophouse for dinner.
I was so excited to have a real grown-up dinner that I may have over done it just a bit there! One skill I've learned since having a baby is how to inhale my food. Most nights, dinner is like a WWF wrestling match where Mike and I are tagging each other in to make the food, handle the baby, and eat. I was so excited to have more than 5 minutes to eat my dinner and talk to my husband without interruption!
Wine, good food, and a nice, quiet hotel room--this was definitely an amazing anniversary celebration!
As I laid in bed that night, enjoying the lack of the sound of the baby monitor next to my bed, I thought about the great day Mike and I had had. We had even talked about doing this again in February for Valentine's Day!
And then I wondered what it said about me as a mom that I hadn't been upset about leaving Olivia and that I was actually ENJOYING my time away from her?? I was actually planning future get-aways! Hadn't I heard how hard it is to leave your child? What was wrong with me, as a mom, that I didn't feel that way?
I woke at 4 a.m. the next morning with achey boobs (ah, the joys of breastfeeding!) and I knew why I was at peace about being away from my baby.
I am a mom--all of the time. Whether Olivia is 28 steps from me or 28 miles, I will always be her mom. It's not a costume that I put on when it's convenient or fun. Being a mom is who I am. But, I don't need to be with her 24/7 to have that identity. My achey boobs were proof of that! Even my body knew that just 28.4 miles away, a little girl needed her mom for her 4 a.m. feeding. I will always, ALWAYS be connected to her.
When Oli is 40 years old with a child of her own, I know that I will wake in the middle of the night and miss her or wonder what she's doing or what she's thinking. Our nine months of cohabitating my body will keep us connected forever. She is a part of who I am and I am a part of her. Being away from her doesn't change that.
My enjoyment that day and night didn't have anything to do with the ABSENCE of my child. It had everything to do with the PRESENCE of my husband and our time together. Because my other identity is as a wife. And that comes first.
Even when it's hard to leave our daughter, we have to (and want to!) make time for each other so that our marriage can flourish and thrive in this crazy, chaotic world of parenthood. One of the greatest gifts we can give our child is a marriage that lasts and is happy. And we can't be great parents if we don't take time out for ourselves to refuel each other.
We want Olivia to see that being a parent and being a family is about balance. So we are planning lots of nights out in the future and Oli will get to have lots of slumber parties with her aunts & uncles and grandparents.
And when we come home, we'll do just what we did on Sunday. We'll run into the house and scoop our little girl up into our arms and snuggle with her for the rest of the day.
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| On our wine tour! |
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| We got to come home to our sweet Ladybug! |
Well said, Stephanie.
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