Tales from the Dark Side

I love sleep. A lot. Maybe a little too much. I mean, is there really anything better than putting on your comfy pj's, climbing in between the cool sheets, resting your head on a soft pillow, and drifting off into dreamland where Brad Pitt and Matthew McConaughey walk around shirtless...okay, well, maybe that's just my dreamland! But the point is that sleep is AWESOME.

We take pride in our ability to sleep here in this house. Mike is able to fall asleep in about 27 seconds and stay asleep regardless of what's going on around him. I'm a great sleeper as well and take so much pleasure in repeatedly hitting the snooze button so I can sleep in just a little more.

But then there's The Boss Lady. For some reason, despite her genetic pre-disposition to love sleep (that's genetic, right???), she just doesn't seem to get it. While, for Mike and me, bedtime is one of the greatest times of the day, for her, it seems to be a time that she morphs into a Gremlin.

Like most (okay, maybe ALL) new parents, Sleep has become our new obsession/mission/worry. Bedtime around here has been nightmarish (to say the least) and I feel like I am constantly counting down the hours until it's time for the Bedtime Battle to begin.

In the Milligan house, bedtime was beginning to feel a lot like this:



Think I'm being a little dramatic?? Then, check out this actual video of our sweet daughter at bedtime:

And that went on for more than 2 hours!!!! That blanket wrapped around her was a swaddle until she thrashed her way out of it.

I recently posted on Facebook that I needed some prayers for our bedtime dilema. At the time, I wasn't even seeking a solution any longer. I was seeking a miracle. I wasn't sure there was any solution for the bedtime trauma that was going on. That post spurred a response of 21 posts on my wall and 3 messages in my inbox.

It seems that sleep is something that EVERY parent obsesses over! And it seems that there are about a million different experts with a million different solutions. Why are we so obsessed with our child's sleep habits?

Before having a kid, I could not understand why parents always talked about this. I mean, sleep deprivation didn't seem like that big of a deal to me. That's how I spent 4 years of college and many Friday and Saturday nights post-college. Who needs sleep that bad??

But it's different when you are a parent. It's different when your sweet baby is crying for you. It's different when you feel like you should be able to meet the needs of your child and you can't. It's just different. And it's hard.

Up until a few days ago, most of our bedtime ritual consisted of Olivia crying and screaming at the top of her lungs, then me crying and screaming at the top of my lungs, then Mike trying to calm us both down. Then all 3 of us would just collapse into bed completely exhausted sometime around midnight. I could not understand how the amazing little girl I spent the entire day with could suddenly be so unhappy. I felt embarassed and sad that I couldn't meet her needs or remain calm and collected enough to make it through the night.

In my quest to find a sleep solution it seemed that I could only find frustration. I have had nights when I've hit the wall--literally. I've had nights when I got in my car and drove with the windows down and the radio turned to full blast while Mike sat with a screaming Oli at home. And I've had nights when I'v had to stop and put my daughter down and leave the room.

From my Facebook posting, I got a lot of great ideas to help with all of this insanity. The best advice someone gave me was to just pick what (we hope) will work for our family, make it happen, and be consistent.

The good news is that we seem to have found a plan that works! The second night, we were all in bed by 10 p.m.!!!

The strange thing is that I was actually a little concerned by how easy it all was going! Motherhood is such a strange mix of emotions. When she's crying, I worry that she's unhappy. When she's not crying I worry that she's sick. Weird, right? I told Mike I was a little weirded out that things were going so well and I couldn't sleep. His response? "Want to watch me??"

So, there I was, laying in bed with a peacefully sleeping baby and husband and I couldn't even get to sleep! Go figure. Welcome to Crazy Town.