A little bit of random...

Often, I have these little thoughts that aren't really "blog-worthy" by themselves but I'd love to share them. I considered posting them on Facebook but then I'd be posting about 50 times in a day! So, here are just a few of my random thoughts & happenings:

Lately, Olivia is really into cell phones & remotes. I mean, she could have 800 of those super colorful baby toys surrounding her and she would still reach for the phone or remote. And if I try to take it away from her she throws a fit. So sometimes, I just give in and give them to her to chew on. Then I think, "Jeez, I hope those aren't shooting supersonic waves into her brain..."

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How in the world does such a tiny person manage to fart like a grown man???

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Lately, The Boss Lady has been pushing up and trying to get her legs under her so she can take off crawling. While this is very exciting, it's also a little scary and I have to admit that I have the urge to push her back down at times.

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Olivia's refusal to fall asleep any other way except than while nursing is very sweet but also kind of exhausting. I love holding her and seeing her smushed up against me sleeping but then having to transfer her to her crib is tough and often she just wakes right back up. Oh well, I'm learning to just enjoy the moments I have with her that she wants to stay all cuddled up with me. So, maybe it takes me a week to get the laundry done. I'll have laundry the rest of my life. For now, I'll try to enjoy holding my sweet girl while she sleeps--while I'm thinking about all of the laundry that needs to be done, of course.

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In the mornings, I get so excited to see Olivia. When she wakes up, she is so excited to see me and we sit on the couch together playing. Then, it's a mad dash to get ready for daycare & work. About 2 hours later, she's cranky, I'm running around like something is on fire, and saying things like "Okay, Olivia, please stop fussing. Mommy is hurrying!" Then I add "Thank you God for daycare," to my morning prayer.

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In the evenings, we put Oli in her high chair with us at the table as we eat dinner. Mike and I talk about our days, make crazy faces at The Boss Lady and she usually sits there laughing. Those are the moments I am convinced my life is completely perfect.

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When Olivia goes to bed with her stuffed monkey, I go in there and take it out of her crib once she's asleep. I'm convinced that everything causes SIDS. And I go check on her to make sure she's still breathing before I go to bed. Sometimes I make Mike do it and then I ask him like 100 times if he made sure she was still breathing. He usually says, "I did all of that, but you can go check for yourself if you'd like." Poor guy.

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I'd love to wear a regular (a.k.a. non-nursing) bra. Somedays, I open my pre-baby bra drawer and just stare at all of the beautiful bras like they are gold bricks.

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I'd like to know what's so flippin' traumatic to my daughter about having her boogers sucked out of her nose. Seriously, she acts like she's being attacked by a pack of mountain lions. She just has to get over it. I'm not okay with having my boob covered in snot while she nurses. I do have limits, people.

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I think the face Olivia makes when she's pooping is really cute. The clean-up, not so much. Speaking of poop, what is in that stuff that makes it stain so badly that every stain remover I've tried hasn't even touched it???

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One of Olivia's little "things" is to suck on my chin. It's pretty hilarious and I usually laugh so hard I can barely pull her off. Well, the other day, she really got ahold of me and gave me a hickey! That night I said, "Mike, did you see this hickey on my chin?" He said, "FROM ME?!?!?!?" Yeah, from you. Don't you remember that cool chin sucking thing we tried out last week? It was HOT.

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Tonight I had plans to take a bubble bath and go to bed early. Tonight Olivia had plans to scream like a maniac when it was her bedtime. She's not called The Boss Lady for nothin'.

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Okay, so does EVERYONE think their kid is the cutest and smartest baby on the planet? Or is my baby REALLY the cutest and smartest baby on the planet? Yeah, I think that's it. Oh, except for right now because she just turned into a Gremlin...again.

She's The Boss!

Resolution Update: Week 9

Weight: 155!! I hadn't mentioned this before but this was secretly my goal weight. I didn't want to truly set a goal because I didn't want to put a ton of pressure on myself or create a deadline of sorts. And I didn't want to have the mindset that once I reached my goal, I would stop trying to lose weight. 155 is great but it's still a little heavier than I should be for my size. However, I am EXTREMELY happy with this!!!

Diet: Okay, so this weekend was my birthday celebration weekend so I actually had 2 cheat days in a row! I debated even allowing myself this but it's my birthday for crying out loud! One of the things I'm going to have to learn is that it is OKAY to let myself off the hook if it's something like my 30th birthday weekend. So, I had one delish piece of cake yesterday and as soon as I post this, I'm headed to the fridge for another! I guess we'll see if I have a rebound next week! Ha!

Exercise: Bad news here. I threw out my back. Go figure. I turn 30 on Thursday and I'm throwing out my back! I've been to see a chiropractor and she did recommend laying off the workouts a little. I've had to stop my Jillian Michaels because it's pretty high impact and kills my back. I've done some walking and I went to the gym and hit the eliptical. The biggest problem is that, while I'm working out, I'm not in pain at all. After, is another story. I didn't work out at all yesterday or today in the hopes that giving my back a rest will help it heal quicker so I can get back on track.

Thoughts/Reflections for the week: As I mentioned, I'm turning 30 this week! I think it's awesome that I hit my goal weight the same week as this huge birthday milestone. At 30 years old, I am taking better care of myself than I ever have and I am feeling great! Oh, well, except for the bad back part!

On Saturday night, I celebrated the Big 3-0 with a huge party and it was AMAZING!!! I'll post more on that later. But, in regards to this Resolution, I have to say that on Saturday night, I looked and felt wonderful. I had this great dress that fit so wonderfully and I felt so great showing off this new figure! It was truly incredible to be able to celebrate my birthday and feel like I looked great! I'm not trying to brag about myself here. But, so often, I've had times in my life where I was thinking "Jeez, I wish I looked a little better or lost a little weight before now." That thought never even crossed my mind!

Like I said, with 2 cheat days and having to lay off the exercise, who knows what next week's result will be!

Olivia and The Avocado

Like all parents, Mike and I have been so excited by every milestone our child has achieved. Last week, on her 6 month birthday we were so excited that we could start feeding The Boss Lady food! Until now she's been a breastmilk only baby. We were both so excited to reach this stage!

I was excited because I knew it would be a fun adventure to watch her try new things and I think Mike was excited because he can take part in her feedings a little more.

Oddly, I felt a lot of emotions around this milestone. I mean, it's just food, right? Wrong. As I'm learning in this new adventure, most things have a lot of emotions surrounding them. I love watching my kiddo go through all of these stages but it's always sort of bittersweet. The fact that she's at an age where she can start eating real food is proof that she's not this tiny little baby anymore. She's growing up and super fast!

And I love that I am still able to breastfeed her and that's she's been a breastmilk baby so far. But I have mixed feelings about that too. With this whole food thing, that means we are one step closer to her not needing me anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm super excited to have my boobs back to myself! However, there is something so wonderful about nursing my daughter. I love that closeness with her. I love how excited she gets to eat, how she tries to gnaw through my shirt when she's hungry. I love how she rubs the back of her head as she nurses and how she'll sometimes catch my eye from the corner of hers and give me a huge grin, milk dripping down the side of her cheek.

I know that this food adventure is going to be just as special though. Mike talks about us cooking dinner together as a family and teaching Oli about making healthy foods. I also look forward to the days where we can sit at the dinner table together and share a meal as a family.

So in preparation for our big milestone, on Thursday after work I headed to the grocery store for rice cereal, avocado, butternut squash, and carrots. I've been a reading a little about baby's first foods and a lot of people recommend avocado. And I'm going to attempt to make my own baby food, hence the squash and carrots.

That's a whole other issue: making my own baby food. I do try to eat healthy but to be honest, I'm not a big organic person. In fact, I'm not an organic person at all. Quite frankly, I've always thought it was a waste of money. I know, I know, pesticides and all of that. But, I just never think about it when I'm at the grocery store.

Yet, suddenly, as I started thinking about what Olivia would be eating, organic has become something I'm considering. And making my own baby food? What the heck is that about?!?!? Why do I suddenly feel compelled to do THAT?? A lot of the reason is because it is a money saver to make your own. The bunch of carrots I bought was $1 and can probably make several meals. Also, Mike and I eat a lot of fresh veggies so I'm hoping that eventually, she can just eat what we do. We'll see how this all plays out though. I told a friend I was going to do this and she said "Wow, I wish I was that ambitious." Well, I'm not sure I'm that ambitious either. If it turns out to be a big pain the butt, I have no problem switching to those cute little jars. Anyway, the ingredients in those are just veggies and water which is what I would be making.

See, all of these crazy thoughts and feelings over a little bit of food! Jeez. Bet you can't wait to see how long the blogpost is when she goes to kindergarten!

As soon as Mike got home Thursday night, we started getting things ready! I mashed up the avocado and mixed the rice cereal with a little breastmilk. We did NOT combine the two but we wanted to have both options in case she liked one over the other. I tried the cereal and it tasted a little funky so I was hoping she'd be a bigger fan of the straight avocado.

We sat down, got the video camera ready and got a huge surprise when our sweet girl hated BOTH! She gagged like it was the most offensive thing she had ever tasted and then she threw it all up. We tried just the rice cereal on Friday night and got the same reaction.

On Sunday, I mashed up some banana and tried that. Same reaction.

Today, I spent part of the day researching different ways to introduce solids. I checked out wholesomebabyfood.com and I put our situation out into the Facebook world. I got some great advice thanks to many of my other mom-friends. One of the strategies I'm interested in is called baby led weaning. I still need to do some research but basically, you just let the child control their own food. So, if you are eating carrots, give them some. If you are eating peas, give them some. But put it on their tray or plate and let them feed themselves.

Since my kiddo is a little bit of a control freak when it comes to her food (wonder where she gets that??), I thought maybe this might be a good option for us.

Tonight, we bought a high chair and sat her at the table with us when we sat down to eat dinner. I mashed up a banana and put it in front of her. While she had a great time squishing it between her fingers, she never once put it in her mouth. I tried to help with the spoon. She gagged. She puked. My dinner was interrupted cleaning up the high chair and her. *Deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breaths*

We tried some babyfood bananas. No go. Then we mixed some breast milk with rice cereal and some of the banana babyfood. It smelled like puke. I tasted it and when I did Mike gagged. Then I gagged. Because it not only smelled like puke, it tasted like puke. Lo and behold, SHE FREAKIN' LIKED IT!!!

She wasn't gobbling it down or anything but she wasn't making the crazy gagging face and she was laughing and smiling the whole time. Most of it ended up down her chin and on her clothes but she really seemed happy with it all.

When I got up from the table, I smelled the bottle that had the milk in it. It smelled rotten. It had been in the fridge since Friday so it should have been okay. But it smelled rotten. I think, no I'm pretty sure, it was rotten. Great, we just fed our child rotten breast milk. AND SHE LIKED IT!!!

Crazy, crazy baby.

We are going to try a few more times with this whole food thing. BUT, if she still acts like she isn't interested, we're going to wait a little while longer. And that's okay. I'm not in a huge rush for all of these milestones anyway! ;)

She loved the bowl and the spoon but NOT the contents!

Resolution Update: Week 8

Weight: 158! I am literally AMAZED that I broke 160! Seriously, I weigh almost what I weighed at my wedding. And I looked and felt GREAT then! This is so very, very exciting!

Diet: I have a confession: I had TWO cheat days this week! In our family, February and March are full of birthdays and this weekend, we celebrated my brother-in-law & sister-in-law's birthdays and my sister's birthday. I had dessert at both celebrations. BUT, I did split the dessert with Mike and I was really good with the rest of my food this week.

Exercise: Just a little on this, this week. Thank you Jillian Michaels for the continued ass kicking you give me each day. Seriously.

Thoughts/Reflections for the week: Today, we went to a baptism reception and there were fajitas there--with chips & salsa! I did not eat the chips & salsa and after just 2 fajitas, I stopped eating. To top it all off, I only ate a small bite of cake! On the drive home, Mike said "I don't even know you anymore!" I'm not sure I really know myself! Ha! I never in a million years thought I would have this much self control!

Tonight, I was telling Mike how I really am amazed at how much I've changed when it comes to taking care of myself. He said maybe it was because I'm finally seeing how good it feels to be in shape. He's right. I've done some dieting and excercise in the past but I never really held myself accountable and I never really tracked my results. It's so fun to see that scale go down each week and it's awesome to see the results in the mirror. This is the first time I've actually paid attention.

Oh, and the extra attention I'm getting from my husband is pretty nice too. ;) I'm just sayin'...

Half of a Year Already?

We've kept her alive for 6 WHOLE MONTHS!!! And aside from the crack in her head, we are doing pretty awesome around here! This past month has probably been my favorite so far. It seems like Olivia is learning things at warp speed and we have watched her morph from this tiny, needy lump to a real baby. I can't explain why this seems so different, but we have moved from the Newborn Phase into Baby Phase and this phase is truly incredible.

When Oli was about 3 or 4 weeks old, I had lunch with my cousin Trey and his daughter, Emily. Emily was about 13 or 14 months old at the time and Trey was reminiscing about the days when she was first born. He told me that each phase was so exciting and that every phase I would think "Oh, this is my favorite!" And then the next would come along and I would think "Oh, wait, THIS one is my favorite!" At that time, I looked at him like he had sprouted a second head. "What in the hell are you talking about??" was my response to him. How could this Newborn Phase be my favorite???? Give it another month or so, he assured me.

He was right. I am truly loving watching my girl grow through these phases of her life. While I'm wishing they'd slow down just a bit, I am enjoying the excitement and new-ness that every day brings.

Last night, as we went to bed, Mike and I were talking about how different Olivia is now than from the day she was born. It's like we have a completely different baby. And I *kinda* miss that little newborn sometimes. My daughter is very independent and she wants to figure things out all by herself. I love that about her but sometimes I wish she still wanted to cuddle with me all of the time.

When we first brought her home and she NEVER wanted to be put down, people told me to enjoy that because it would be over soon. But at that time, I just wanted to be able to put her down for 30 seconds so I could pee or eat or shower or any other number of things that I thought I'd never get to do again. I wanted to know when the day was that she wouldn't want to be held all of the time. I'm eating another plate of crow here and saying: You were right. I wish that she would snuggle up on my chest like she used to. She doesn't even fit there anymore. I wish that she would sleep next to me in bed. Now, when we put her in bed with us, she squeals and slaps me in the face until I get up. Literally, I've drifted off only to be punched in the eye with her freakishly strong fist.

Now we are in a different phase. A phase where Oli wants to explore everything and she's developing this amazing little personality. She is rolling over all of the time now and she's sitting up by herself. She is so chatty and energetic and she smiles all of the time. Today, we gave her her first "solid" food! Her newborn hair fell out and now she's got this soft, light brown hair growing in and she is VERY long. She's such a happy kid and I just thank God every single day for the amazing child He has given me. She's really funny too! She likes to scream and squawk at the cat. She likes to giggle a lot and she has this huge, bright smile. She is incredible. And I get to be her mom.

I am truly amazed at how quickly half a year has gone by and I know that this second half is going to go by even faster. In the meantime, I'll be taking things one day at a time and enjoying every single second.

6 months old today!

Love is...

I need to preface this post by saying that I had it planned to be posted last Monday BUT then my sweet angel had her accident so this one got postponed. However, since the events of last Monday, I feel compelled to post this even more.

So, in the spirit of Valentine's Day (one week late!), here's to Love...

True Love is...

John 3:16, For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.

If that isn't true love, I'm not sure what is. Last Monday, I watched my sweet girl get hurt and it was the worst feeling that I've ever had. I was more scared that day than I have ever been. I cannot imagine the love our God must have for us that He gave His ONLY son so that we can spend an eternity with Him. He watched His son suffer for OUR sake. So often, I take this for granted and I forget what an incredible love this is. Parenthood has definitely given me a different perspective on love and what it means to truly love unconditionally.

True Love is...

A husband who lets me be the weak one. My husband is quiet and calm. He is gentle and kind. He does not put up the image of a "tough guy" but he is my rock. When I need to break down, he is there, keeping me together. When I am doubtful or scared, he is there to encourage me and let me know that he is here to protect me. For so many years, I tried to be so tough and independent and that can be exhausting. I have found rest, peace, solace, comfort, contentment, and an incredible love in this man.

He has a grace about him that I am in awe of. When I stick my foot in my mouth (which I often do!) or when I am hurtful, he forgives without a second thought.

Mike is the most wonderful dad to our daughter. He is so excited to see her everyday and he helps me all of the time with her. In case I haven't mentioned it, I didn't even change a diaper until we got home from the hospital! So often he talks about how excited he is to do things with Olivia and I feel so alive inside imagining them making breakfast together or going on runs together. Sometimes, on Saturday mornings, he lets me sleep in and he gets up with her. I hear them in the living room and he is usually dancing around with her to some silly children's song. It is the most beautiful sound in the world.

True Love is...

Learning that you don't have to know someone very long to fall completely in love with them and know that you cannot be on this earth unless they are. I have only known Olivia Anne for 6 months but she has my heart. I cannot even remember my life without her. And though there are times that I would love to be able to sleep in past 7 a.m., I would not trade the early mornings with her for anything in the world.

Olivia teaches me that I don't have to have it all together to be happy. She doesn't care if everything in the house is completely in its place or if my hair is totally perfect everyday. She just wants to be loved and played with. She wants to spend time with us and I've learned through her to slow down and enjoy every single moment.

True Love is...

Family & friends who will pray for you when you forget to pray for yourself. Last Monday, I was so rattled and scared that I forgot to pray. That's hard for me to admit because I'm such a believer in bringing God into every moment of your life. But, I just forgot. I don't know why. We didn't call very many people right away when Olivia fell but I know that the people who did know were praying for us. I know that we were surrounded with a cushion of prayers during our time of need.

Afterward, there were so many who reached out to let us know that they were praying for healing for Olivia. They shared their own stories so that we would know we weren't the only ones who had ever experienced something like that.

Mike and I are constantly talking about how incredibly blessed we are to have our family & friends. There is not a moment in our lives that we do not feel completely surrounded by love and support. I am at a loss here to describe how thankful I am to ALL of you who support us each and every day. I hope that I am as good a friend and family member to you as you are to me. Thank you.

This Valentine's Day, our first with our girl, didn't go EXACTLY as we thought. But it did remind us of the abundance of love in our life and for that we could not be more grateful. 

Splish Splash Oli's Takin' a Bath!

Just had to post this super cute video of our Oli splashing around in the bathtub! Bathtime was pretty insane initially and she HATED taking one. Below is a pic of her first bath at home and it was pretty miserable for ALL of us. But, as you can see in the video, she's having a pretty good time these days!

Olivia's first bath at home