A Day In the Life

This was my day today:

5 a.m. Alarm goes off. I curse alarm and when Mike says, “Why is your alarm going off at 5?” I say “Hell if I know,” and hit the off switch, readjust my boob so Dude can latch back on and fall asleep wondering ‘Why did I set my alarm for 5?’

6 a.m. Alarm goes off. Again. And suddenly I remember that I have to leave early for William’s doc appointment this morning. Hence the 5 a.m. wake up call. I hit snooze again, readjust boob again, realize Dude is waking for the day, text Mike to come get him and lay in bed in a half awake/half asleep daze trying to will my body up to start the day.

6:40 a.m. Get up and start rushing around like a crazy person. Pump the left boob since it was neglected all night, get coffee, take a shower, make lunches, fix hair, eat breakfast, remind Mike that he can’t leave for work yet because he has to take Oli to school because I have to take William to the doc, fix my hair, put on work clothes, say prayers with family, throw baby in the car with no pants on (The baby, not me. I had pants on.) despite the 55 degree weather, and take off for the doc’s office.

8:18 a.m. Arrive at doc’s office for 8:20 appointment. Score! I’m EARLY for once! Answer 5,000 questions about Dude’s development. Yes, he grabs things. No, he doesn’t have Wobble Head anymore. Yes, he’s already learning Mandarin. No, we never eat GMO’s. Whatever. “How’s the ‘sleep thing’ going?” the doc asks. Maniacal laughter from me. No further sleep questions from her. Dude has another ear infection. Tell me something I didn’t already know. Can I have my own script pad please?

9:34 a.m. Back in car. 9:34?!?!?!? Shit.

10:02 a.m. Drop Dude off at daycare. Pray like a mad woman that he doesn’t spike a fever because of the damn vaccination he got.

10:17 a.m. Arrive to work. Slide into desk while boss’s back is turned and hope he hasn’t realized that I just now got there. Breeze through a dozen e-mails before 10:30 meeting.

Work, work, work, work, work…pee…work, work, work, work, work…shovel food in face and call it ‘lunch’…work, work, work...and off to my real job again.

6:22 p.m. Pick up Dude from daycare. Head to Costco. Really, it had to be done.

6:34 p.m. Hoof it into Costco all mall-walker style. Load the cart with a year’s supply of chicken, diapers, beer, tilapia, cheese sticks, and applesauce all while dangling plastic keys in Dude’s face to keep him from clawing at my sweater (Yes, my kid has on no pants and I’m in a sweater.) and, ooh is that a pack of black bean and rice burritos? Will I eat 57 burritos before they go bad? No. Moving on.

7:07 p.m. Check out of Costco, manage to pack a moving truck’s worth of goods into my trunk, and head home.

7:18 p.m. Pull up at Circus Headquarters, unload all groceries, change clothes, convince Olivia that we will read her new book tonight at bedtime while I change out of work clothes as Mike finishes warming up dinner and mashing up an avocado for Dude, sit down, wolf down dinner while doing a short debrief on our days. It goes something like this:

“I finished the yard.” 

“What yard?” 

“Our yard.” 

“Oh, awesome. How was work?” 

“Awesome. How was your work?"

"Awesome. People cried.” 

“Great.” 

“Great.”

7:47 p.m. While Mike gets the kids in the bath, I jet off to Kroger to pick up the ear infection prescription. Run in, go through this ‘Who’s on first’ routine with the pharmacist about who my prescription drug coverage is through, try to explain very patiently to him that I never did receive a prescription drug card, call Mike to confirm this only to be told that the card is right there in the benefits folder, get that sorted out and get pharmacist opinion about a probiotic for an 8 month old since the antibiotic is going to tear up his stomach.

And here’s where I kind of lose track of time,

Get home, give Dude medicine, kiss him goodnight as Mike takes him to bed, finish washing up dinner dishes and lunch containers and baby bottles as Olivia runs circles in the kitchen and reminds me of my promise to practice her new book. I tell her to read it to me while I wash and she kind of tries but really just stops at every word to inform me that she doesn’t know the word. Mike finishes with William and takes her to her room to read as I finish all of the laundry from this weekend and finish cleaning up the kitchen. I go to tuck her in finally and she asks me to sing a song. I say no at first but then agree to one song all the while thinking about how tired I am and how I’d love to just go to bed but then what’s the point since William will be up in about 2 hours anyway and then 3-4 more times during the night.

I get Oli tucked in and come to my room to get ready for bed and to enjoy ONE moment of quiet but I turn around and there’s my sweet girl jumping into my bed begging to “snuggle” with me and promising not to be a distraction but asking a question every 35 seconds. So I tell her to go to bed because it’s late and she does but then comes back like 20 minutes later to tell me how much she was crying and can she *PLEASE* lay down with me and then she smacks her hip into the bedside table and starts sobbing so after verifying there’s no broken bone or blood, I tell her to go to bed for real this time and I can hear her sobbing in her room as I type out this crazy-busy, run-of-the-mill day.

And as I finish typing all of this up, I look back on this day and think, “Holy freaking SHIT. I’m exhausted.”

My nobler self likes to think that by working and co-managing this circus, I’m teaching my daughter that you can be a wife and a woman and have a career too and be really good at all of it.

My realistic self wonders if what I’m actually teaching her is that if you are a wife and a mom and a career woman, you will be exhausted all of the time and run around each day like a rip roaring lunatic.

And y’all, my kids aren’t even really INTO stuff yet. This actually wasn't even that crazy of a day. It wasn't that far outside of normal. I mean, what the mother crap are we gonna do when they have homework and after school activities and sports?

Hire a personal assistant? Hope and pray science has mastered cloning? I have no idea.

And by the way, did we notice that not once today did I actually SIT DOWN AND ENJOY MY KIDS?? I mean, I got tiny flecks of enjoyment during the limited time I spent with them but when my daughter was asking me to read her a book or sing her a song all I could think about was the 1 bazillion things that need to be done to keep this household running.

Should we even talk about the fact that my day was survived with the help of an incredibly supportive partner? I mean, you single mama’s out there—WHOA. You are real, live, freaking Super Women

To be honest, I’m not even sure what the point of this post is except to say that life is just BUSY. And I suspect there are some of you out there who feel the same way today and I’m not even sure it has anything to do with being a working mom although that may be some of it.

I think it just has to do with being a MOM. This job is busy, hectic, crazy, non-stop, IN-FREAKING-SANE. There are days like today where at the end I just think “No way in hell can I do that all over again tomorrow.” But I will. And so will you. We’re in this together, ladies.  

There will be a day when we look back and think “Wow. I can’t believe I survived that craziness.” I don’t know how we’ll do it or how much wine will be consumed in the process. Thankfully, Costco sells that too.