Thanksgiving for the Women

This week, I’ve been thinking a lot about the incredible women in my life. While I am thankful for so many, many things this year, I am especially grateful this Thanksgiving for the women who have helped to shape and teach me.

Before I had children, I would watch my friends with kids and I would sort of catalogue their parenting styles. Each parenting technique would sort of go into a category. Like “Don’t EVER do that!” or “Use that often,” or “What the…???” I don’t mean to say that I was being judgmental per say but I just thought I could somehow make a sort of Rule Book of my own with compilations of other women’s parenting styles.

Then I had Olivia. And I realized that some of the things I thought were genius just didn’t work with my kiddo. And some of the things I thought were insane were kind of brilliant. The thing is, as a mom, you just take all of your compiled knowledge and you use whatever it takes to make it through each day. There have been times that I have been brilliant in this gig and there have been times (okay MOST times) that I am just a blundering idiot. But through it all I’ve had this truly incredible network of women who have held my hand, laughed with me, cried with me, cheered me on, and never told me that I don’t know what I’m doing…at least to my face!

Today I raise a glass to the women in my life who have been with me thus far. You may not want to take credit for your influence here but the credit is yours and I am forever thankful to YOU:

To my grandmothers, Christa and Joanne. Two beautiful women who raised families, took care of a household, and have managed to keep their strong willed husbands in check for more than 50 years. My grandmother Christa came to this country from Germany as a young woman and has taken this nation by storm. She is funny and smart and knows how to make a mean schnitzel. My grandmother Joanne raised 6 six kids and lost her eldest, my dad, 14 years ago. I cannot imagine how that must have felt as a mom but she continues to be a strong example of what it means to be a wife and a mom.

To Mike’s grandmother, Nedra. She passed away this year on October 7 but her influence will live with me forever. Her faith was inspiring and she and though she too lost her son, Mike’s dad, she continued to be faithful and graceful in all things. She was regal and beautiful and we will miss her smile and her yummy sweet potato casserole this year at dinner.

To my mom, Jannette. My mom and I have not always had the easiest relationship but she continues to try her heart out and she faces her past failures with courage. She is always trying to make a better future and her love and pride for us is so evident any time you talk to her. We may not always be perfect but I am happy to say that my mom has become my friend and she is a seriously wonderful grandmother to Oli.

To my step-mom, Lisa. She could not have had a more awkward situation to walk into when she inherited me and my sisters but she took us on without batting an eyelash. She is strong and beautiful and has put up with some insanity as most step-moms do but she has taken it all with grace. She is generous and loving and she makes every family event so special. She was just as excited to become a grandmother as my mom and Mike’s mom were. We don’t share genetics but we choose each other as family and that creates a very special bond.  

To my mother-in-law, Margaret. She raised two incredible men and I am blessed to be married to one of them. I can’t even imagine being a mom of two boys but she endured farting at the dinner table and burping during church like a champ. She is very much a lady and helped instill manners and gentleness in her sons. She takes her role as a grandmother very seriously and when I think of whom I’d like to be as a grandma, she is someone who comes to mind. She lives for her grandkids and I love that she carries around photo albums of them.

To my sisters, Carly, Michelle, and Megan. To Carly and Megan for commiserating with me when our kids are acting like crazy banshees. For paving the road before me so I can always look to the two of you and know that this insanity is survivable. You are both wonderful moms and I feel blessed to have been a part of your own journeys in motherhood. To my sister, Michelle, who has no children but who is like another mother to my sweet girl. For holding my hand through so much of this journey and for just being here. That means more than you might know. If you decide not to have children, I will totally support that but I have no doubt that you would be an incredible mother. All 3 of you, my sisters, are the reason I cannot imagine Olivia being an only child. I have no idea what I would do without each of you.

To my sister-in-law, Emily. As she gets ready to celebrate her first Thanksgiving as a mom, I just want to say, “You are rocking this motherhood thing!” I have been so amazed to see her become a mom. She is great at it and my niece, Aislynn, is so lucky that she got Emily as a mom. Emily is always the one starting up some silliness at family affairs and I am always grateful to her for making me laugh even when I want to cry. She is a wonderful aunt to Olivia and she has become a great friend to me.

To all of my aunts and Mike’s aunt. There are too many of you to list one-by-one and that’s a GREAT thing! I cannot tell you all how much I appreciate the example you have been to me. You are all so loving and warm and open and I hope I am that kind of aunt to my nieces and nephews. You all have also shown me how to be a great mom since all of you are. Thank you for baby-sitting me as a kid and for supporting me now as an adult. I love you all so much.

To my cousins and their wives and Mike's cousin and wives of his cousins and there are MANY of you. We don't get to see each other much but I love knowing you are out there rooting for us and loving my Oli. Some of you are mothers and some are not but you have all helped to shape me. From the time we were kids and rolling around in the dirt to now as wives, moms, women, I am grateful to know and be a part of all of you. 

To my friends WITH kids. Thank you for being an example to me, a shoulder to cry on, someone to cheer us on, someone to celebrate the joys of this journey with. Thank you for sharing your own journey and for letting me be a part of that.

To my friends WITHOUT kids. Thank you for being just as excited about Olivia’s accomplishments as we are. Thank you for offering to watch her even though I feel certain that before I had a kid I never offered to watch anyone else’s! Thank you for your love of my kiddo and for sharing our lives.

You can see that Olivia has a long line of women to look to as an example for herself someday when she needs or wants someone to turn to. To say I am thankful for the inspiration you all have been to me would not be sufficient. Thank you for loving us, for shaping me, for believing in me. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU. Someday, when Olivia is giving thanks for the women she admires, I hope to make that list. I hope to be the example to her that all of you have been to me.

And last but not least, a huge thanks to The Boss Lady. Though she is not a woman yet, she has been an inspiration to me since the day I knew she existed. She has stretched and pushed me beyond what I knew possible. She has brought me to tears and then back to laughter quicker than I ever thought possible. She has taught me that a little dirt on the kitchen floor isn’t the end of the world and that my college days of pulling all-nighters really did come in handy. She shows me the joy in the every day. She is proof that there is an Almighty God who has a perfect plan and a perfect creation. She loves me even when I completely screw up. I know that kids are supposed to learn from their parents but I’m pretty sure that Olivia has taught me more about life and about myself than I may ever teach her. This motherhood gig has been my hardest and most incredible lesson so far. I cannot believe I was chosen to be her mom and I look forward to every lesson yet to come.   

As I sit down today with some of the women I’ve named here, I can say that this truly is a day of tremendous Thanksgiving. I hope today you can look around and see the people and things you have to be thankful for. I hope you continue to have many more days of thanksgiving beyond today. May all of you be blessed today and always! Happy Turkey Day!