It's Story Time!

Right now, The Boss Lady is really into her books. Or, more accurately, she is really into pulling all of her books off of her shelves and then ripping pages out or chewing on them. On occasion, she'll bring one over to me, hand it to me, and in her baby babble, ask me to read it to her. I LOVE to read and I'm hoping Oli will inherit this hobby from me so I really enjoy the times that she sits on my lap and lets me read a page to her. I say "a page" because that's about all I get through before she yanks the book from my hand and toddles off to find something else to destroy. Then I'm left sitting there wondering what in the heck ever happened to that crazy Lorax.

I have to say though that the books I have read the entire way through are a little perplexing. Children's literature is WEIRD. Have you ever read some of those nursery rhymes?? I'm pretty sure the author's were partaking in a few herbal remedies when they wrote them. It kind of makes me wonder if those books used to come with a hit of acid so you can understand them better.

Some of them have words in them just so that the story rhymes. Take for instance that book Goodnight Moon, which I know is a huge hit with parents. The story is this little bunny kid who is going to bed and they point out all of the stuff in his room and then they say "goodnight" to all of it. I find it odd to say goodnight to a bunch of inanimate objects but it's not so bad I guess. What gets me though is the bowl of mush on the nightstand. First off, why is this bunny kid eating a bowl of mush before bed? And what the crap is mush? And why is it being left in his room? That bunny kid looks old enough to be able to start taking his own dishes to the kitchen when he's done with them.

This weekend, I was reading another favorite, Mike Mulligan and His Steamshovel. This one was a favorite of my husband's when he was a kid and we actually still have his original copy. So, I'm reading it to The Boss Lady and the story is basically this: This dude, Mike Mulligan, has a steamshovel named Mary Anne. They are the best steamshovellin' team in the country but as technology advances, Mary Anne sort of becomes obsolete. So off they go to find a place where they are wanted and they happen upon this town that needs a basement built for their new town hall. Since the town is so small, they are going to have dig out the basement by hand. Here come Mike and Mary Anne to the rescue! They dig out the basement in one day while the town cheers them on. In appreciation, the town says that Mary Anne can live in the basement of the town hall and Mike can be the janitor.

WTF??? The janitor?? Thanks so much for your help, Mike, ole' buddy. We like you so much, you can clean our toilets and live in the basement! I can imagine that Mike and Mary Anne really just thought that was swell. If I were Mike and Mary Anne, I'd have rammed my steamshovel where the sun doesn't shine after that offer. But, that's just me.

So, anyway, after all of my reading, I realized that I could just write my own story. Go get yourself a nice cup of tea, snuggle up, and enjoy the read:

This is Mommy

Mommy can do lots of things.

Mommy can do the dishes

And Mommy can do the laundry

But, Mommy's biggest job is taking care of

The Boss Lady

The Boss Lady is a VERY active little girl

She likes to run,

And play in the dirt,

And she likes to make LOTS of messes!

So, sometimes at the end of a LONG day of taking care of The Boss Lady,

Mommy likes to have a glass of juice.

Then, finally it is time for bed and time to say goodnight!

Goodnight to the mess, goodnight to the juice,

Goodnight to the little brown moose.

Goodnight laundry and to the kids in Haiti,

Goodnight Mommy

And goodnight to The Boss Lady!