The Baby Shower

The past 2 weekends, I've been spending my Saturday afternoons attending the baby showers of family and friends and it's made me a little nostalgic about my own baby shower. As I watched these women open packages filled with oh-so-cute-and-tiny baby things I've been flooded by emotion. My baby shower was almost exactly a year ago (July 17, 2010) but I remember things like it was last weekend.

It was truly an AMAZING celebration hosted by my sister, Michelle, and my very good friend, Courtney. I think there were like 30 people there and it took me over an hour to open up all of the gifts. Afterward, I was so overwhelmed by what an amazing job Michelle and Courtney had done and especially by how generous everyone was. At my friend Katie's shower last Saturday, she made the comment that she had been really thankful and overwhelmed at everyone's generosity and excitement as well. It truly is incredible how excited people get about a new baby.

This welcoming of a new life is so incredible. It's full of excitement, love, promise. It's so fun to watch the mom-to-be coo over contraptions she doesn't yet understand and clothes that she can't yet imagine her little angel even fitting into.

I remember that. I remember opening each gift with this insane excitement. I remember looking at all of our loot and thinking "Will I really use all of this stuff?" And though I'm a very practical person and I tend to give gift cards at baby showers, I have to say that the clothes have got to be the best part. I could not get enough of opening up boxes filled with tiny, frilly dresses and pink onesies. As usually happens, I got an assortment of sizes and I remember looking at the tags of the 6-9 month clothing and being convinced that it would be FOREVER before my sweet girl would even fit into those things.

For me, the baby shower was sort of the last celebration before welcoming our girl into this world. But after the shower I still had about 6 more weeks until it was time for my daughter to make her big debut and I thought that day would NEVER get here.

I spent that time unpacking one baby contraption after the other. I washed bottles and countless loads of laundry. I organized dresser drawers and filled baskets with sheets, burp cloths, and blankets. Slowly, our house filled with new furniture--a pack & play in the bedroom, a crib in the once-upon-a-time craft room, a swing in front of the fire place, and a monstrous jumper in the dining room. I tested out my glider. I lined up books on her book shelf, imagining myself reading to her before bed. I shopped frantically for last minute essentials.

And then I waited. And waited. And waited. Or so it felt. I was convinced that the big day was never going to get here!

Then she was here. She was here and all of those contraptions and clothes and all of my preparations didn't prepare me for the amount of love in my heart. And it didn't prepare me for how fast things would go by.

Last week, we packed up the swing and the jumper. I remember counting down the days until Oli was big enough to fit into that jumper. Today, I cleaned out her closet and packed up those 6-9 month size clothes that I thought she'd never be big enough to fit into. As I packed up clothes, The Boss Lady, pulled her books from her shelves to "read" (of course reading to her right now means chewing on the books).

I sat down to read some of them to her. We read Dr. Seuss's ABC's, we read one of her Olivia books, and I tried to read a book my sister, Carly, got me called "On the Night You Were Born." When I opened that one, I saw her message written on the inside front cover. The book was a shower gift and at the time of the shower we weren't telling anyone Olivia's name. Everyone called her Mini at that time. The message was addressed to Mini Milligan and my heart skipped a beat. I started to read and had to stop twice because I kept getting choked up. I finished the book, tears streaming down my face. Afterward, I snuggled up to my sweet girl and kissed her cheek. She firmly pushed my tear soaked face away and took another bite out of Pat the Bunny.

That sweet, small baby that I thought would NEVER get here just one year ago, has already come and gone. She's been replaced by a walking, babbling, sweet toddler who has a mind of her own and doesn't want mom getting in the way of her afternoon book snack.

I am in awe by how fast a year has gone by. This weekend will be Olivia's 11 month birthday and I am in a little bit of denial that we are closing in on a year.

Everyone says it goes by fast and I get that now. It goes by FAST. One day you are rubbing your big, swollen belly, pushing a small foot out of your rib cage and wondering who your baby will look the most like. The next, you are watching her walk down the hallway, dragging a toy, babbling away, and thinking "Who IS this kid???"

This time is so bittersweet right now. I love who Olivia is an is becoming. I love seeing her personality emerge and I love that she is becoming her own little person. But I wish I could slow time just a little.

I find that I feel a little bit envious of my friends and family who are preparing for the birth of their children. I feel so incredibly excited for them too. Motherhood is the most incredible ass kicking you will ever receive and I love being a part of the welcoming committee for others now that I've been through it.

Of course, that envy only goes so far. See, my kiddo is tucked in bed and probably won't wake up until about 7 or 7:30 tomorrow morning. In the meantime, I'm enjoying a glass of wine. Those women who are awaiting the birth of their angels? Well, in about a month, they'll be trying to console a screaming newborn, looking around at all of their baby contraptions wondering which one will help, staring at their husbands and asking "Okay, now WHY did we do this??"

Here's the thing though, ladies: try to enjoy EVERY minute because it does go by SO FAST. In the meantime, I'll raise a glass to you as you embark on the most challenging, most incredible adventure of your lives. 

Me with some of the ladies at my shower. This wasn't even everyone! It was so incredible!