The Year Olivia Ruined Mother's Day

For my very first Mother's Day, just 2 short years ago, Mike and The Boss Lady treated me to a really fancy schmancy brunch at this fancy schmancy hotel here. The brunch was incredible and I felt very pampered and loved. I was relaxed and thoroughly enjoyed myself. The bottomless mimosas probably contributed to that but nevertheless, it was BLISS. Olivia was so well behaved and the following year, I INSISTED that we do it again. Olivia was much more active that year and Mike a was a little concerned about going somewhere so nice with our toddler who still had to eat her spaghetti dinners shirtless so that she didn't ruin all of her clothes. Still I persisted. Reservations were made and I was pumped about another beautiful Mother's Day with my girl.

The morning arrived and off we went all gussied up and ready to eat shrimp cocktails and cherries jubilee or whatever delectable item might be on the brunch buffet that year. And like the foreshadowing of a movie, Mike's reservation about taking Oli to this fancy schmancy brunch proved to be right on. It was a DISASTER. 

The Boss Lady insisted on standing up in her chair while eating ketchup with a spoon. She wanted to sit in my lap and then get back down again. Lap. Down. Lap. Down. A splashed mimosa here, a spilled cup of milk there, and I quickly realized I had made a mistake. I wasn't relaxed AT ALL. I was a nervous wreck trying to keep my child from disrupting the dining of the others around us. I had all but given up on me enjoying my meal but I was determined not to let her ruin it for others. Just when I thought my anxiety couldn't get any worse, Oli grabbed a chocolate cupcake, shoved 1/3 of it in her mouth, 1/3 landed on the carpet, and the last 1/3 she smashed into her hair.

Last year's insanity

And so I sat in my pretty Mother's Day dress, at a table with a once white table cloth, my half consumed mimosa in front of me and I sobbed. Yep. Tears streaming down my face as Mike tried to console me. Olivia ran circles around our table, while the icing from her chocolate cupcake formed a lacquer in her hair. "She ruined my Mother's Day!" I lamented. We exited as gracefully as we could and I honestly cannot remember a single other thing from that day. It was that traumatic that I just blocked out the remainder. 

Mike tried really hard not to outright say "I told you so" but he did remind me a couple of times that spending big bucks on a nice brunch with a toddler might not be the wisest financial investment. I'm sure I told him where he could stick his investment. I really was devastated that my vision of enjoying a beautiful outing with my loves had been ruined by the very person who was the REASON for my privilege to celebrate this "holiday" in the first place. 

This year, when asked what I wanted to do for Mother's Day, I inwardly answered "I want to go to a spa all day and be left ALONE." Instead, I took a step back and tried to let last year's "celebration" wash off. I decided instead to just keep it simple. I told Mike I wanted to go to this local place that has a great Sunday buffet AND a playground out on the patio where Olivia can play while we eat. I asked my cousin and his family what they were doing later in the afternoon and we all made plans to hang out together. 

After a little bit of a grueling Saturday with Oli, I wasn't sure how today was going to turn out. But when the alarm went off, I happily jumped up and started getting us all ready for church. Before we left, Mike and Oli surprised me with gifts she had made for me. Her teachers at school helped her to make a beautiful canvas with her hand print and a little hand painted box. As I was throwing another load of laundry into the washer, Oli thrust her package into my hands and nearly into the washing machine as she excitedly said "Happy Mother's Day, mom!" Mike wrote a beautiful message to me in my card and I felt so incredibly BLESSED that I get to be the mom of such a wonderful kiddo. 

The rest of the day really was great. We got to eat and visit with my grandparents. We got to take a nap! I mean, really that was probably the best gift EVER. We got to hang out with more family later and at the end of the day today we just hung out on the patio. Olivia laid down on the deck of the pool and looked up at the sky. She asked Mike and I to lay down with her and we did and we just all laid there side-by-side staring up at the clouds and counting the airplanes. 

After we put Oli to bed I told Mike that THIS was the Mother's Day I envisioned last year. THIS was the kind of day that I idealize. He told me that he and Oli had had a talk about taking it easy on me today. He said he told her how important it was to have good behavior. And, really, I don't care how he did it. I don't care if he promised her ice cream for dinner every night for the next week. I'm just REALLY thankful that he helped make today so beautiful. 

But here's the major lesson about this year's Mother's Day: EXPECTATIONS. As in: in Parenthood, you have to have low ones. 

Last year I went into that fancy schmancy brunch filled with expectations and I was completely let down. This year, I just shrugged and said "whatever will be, will be." And I don't mean low expectations in a bad way. It's just that I've found that the best way to end up with a big disappointment in this gig is to go into anything with any pre-conceived notions as to how it's all going to go down. Kids just aren't predictable. They don't really give a crap if you spent big bucks on a fancy schmany brunch. They're happier playing on a play ground at a cheap Mexican restaurant. And really, about the 3rd time Olivia wished me "Happy Easter" I realized she didn't even care what day it was. The thing is, she was going to just be herself no matter what. For Oli this day isn't about giving me ONE day of love and appreciation. This day is just another day of her being my daughter. Of loving me even when I really suck at this gig. Another day of spending time together and growing together. She didn't have any expectations of me today except that I would just be her mom. For her that's enough and I'm so thankful for that. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to raise this incredible kid. 

I didn't expect to end the day today laying on the ground with my husband and child as we looked to the sky talking about all kinds of random things. I didn't expect it but it turned out to be incredible. 

Happy happy Mother's Day to all!