You Know You Are a Parent When...

You know you are a parent when...

You have a party. You buy beer for the party. Your house is empty by 8 and you are in bed by 9. And you have leftover beer.

You are driving home from date-night with your spouse and you see people just pulling into the restaurant/movie theater and you say "What are these people doing out so late???" You look at the clock. It's 8:30.

You start calling a night out with your spouse "date-night." People without kids don't call it "date-night." They call it Friday or Saturday or whatever other day of the week they go out with their significant other because they can go out whenever the crap they want.

It's not unusual to come home to find your husband patting and kissing a baby doll while sipping out of a tea cup.

You turn on Pandora radio as you get ready in the morning and you start bopping along to the song that comes on. It takes you until about the 3rd verse to realize you are dancing to "If You're Happy and You Know It" on Toddler Radio. And you are doing the motions.

You are on the phone with a friend who doesn't have kids and your kid starts squawking in the background. Your friend stops mid-sentence and says, "Do you need to take care of that?" You respond, "Take care of what?"

Doing 5 loads of laundry is considered "light."

You are digging in your purse for a pen and you happen upon goldfish crackers, cheese, lunchmeat, or some other kind of food and you have no idea how old it is. You just shove it aside and continue looking for that pen.

When your kid wakes up in the morning, even though you have about 8 million other things to do around the house that now won't get done because you'll be busy child-chasing, you still feel like your heart just came alive when you see that grin as you open the door and say "Good morning, Sunshine!"