There’s a new craze in the Facebook world where people are
posting a certain number of random facts about themselves. And if you ‘like’ or
comment on their post, they’ll give you a number, and you have to come up with
that many random facts about yourself. I’m not much for the Facebook crazes but
I actually think this one is kind of fun. I’m going to do it a little
differently though. I received the number 11 from my good friend, Brandie, and
I’m happy to share 11 things about myself. But I’m going to do it here on this
trusty blog and share one a day for 11 days. And they’ll be random
things about myself specifically relating to motherhood. Let’s call it 11
Confessions from a Really Really Real Mom. Here we go:
Number 7: Sometimes I am so overwhelmed with thankfulness for the many blessings in my life that I am without words. That's part of the reason that I didn't write anything Wednesday or yesterday. My sister is home for Thanksgiving and I was soaking up every second with her and my bro-in-law and with my sweet girl and hubby. Yesterday, as I was surrounded by family and friends, family who are friends, and friends who are family, I just felt dumbstruck with the blessings that have been poured out on me. I'm not even sure how to really express that kind of thanks and gratitude for my life. God has been incredibly, incredibly good to me.
Tonight was just another extension of that. Tonight I was bowled over by the love in my home. And it was all because of my battle with OCD...
Many years ago, as I decorated our Christmas tree, making
sure to put just the right amount of ornaments in each quadrant of the tree,
Mike said to me, “You know, when we have kids, you can’t do this.” “Do what?” I
asked. “You can’t make the tree perfect. You have to let them decorate it
themselves and you aren’t allowed to say anything about it OR fix it after they
are done.” I cringed at the thought.
This year, The Boss Lady is old enough to be REALLY into
Christmas and when I suggested we decorate the tree together she was so
excited. I knew that to control myself I’d have to stay out of the hanging portion
of putting the ornaments on the tree. I sat on the floor, in front of the fire
place, and put ornaments on hooks and handed them off to Oli & Mike as they
found their own perfect place for each piece.
As I unwrapped each one or took it from its box, Olivia
oohed and aahed at each ornament as I told her the story behind it. She
excitedly rushed back for another and Mike and I laughed many times as she hung
4-5 ornaments on the same branch.
I watched from my spot on the floor as my husband and my
daughter put every ornament we own in the “wrong” spots on the tree. And in all
my years as a sufferer of OCD, I have never seen anything so RIGHT. I am a
little overwhelmed right now at the utter joy I felt watching the two of them
decorate in a manner exactly opposite of my style. It was the most fun I think
I've ever had decorating a tree.And I wasn't even drinking. It is the most beautiful tree we have ever had. It is not perfectly organized and it is very unbalanced. And it is utter PERFECTION.
In fact, it’s been like 30 minutes, and I've felt no compulsion
to go over and fix Oli’s placement of the ornaments. Is it possible that
Parenthood is the cure for my obsessive compulsiveness? I’ll ponder that a
little more as I wipe down every counter top with anti-bacterial wipes later…oh,
or maybe after I straighten the tree skirt…again…well, okay maybe not a *cure*
per say but this is progress people!
After we put the last ornament on the tree, I added the
ribbon and the tree topper when Oli said “Mom, I think you are a pretty crazy
person.” True story. She followed that gem up with “Dad, you are pretty cool.
Mom, you are so pretty. Isn't she pretty, dad?” Well, crazy as I may be, at
least my kid thinks I’m pretty. Looks like she has me pretty well pegged! And
just when I thought my crazy was pretty well buttoned up tonight.
So maybe I’m a day late on a Thanksgiving post but I can’t
get over how very thankful I feel to have these two incredible people in my
life who know that I’m crazy but love me anyway (and they think I’m pretty). I’m
thankful for two people who cure my OCD compulsions and bring more joy to my
life than I even knew existed in this world.
Our days are not perfect and sometimes they are like manic
depressive episodes—one second we are laughing and playing games together and
the next I am ordering time outs and promising everyone in the house early bed
times and no dessert. Most days I have no idea if I’m doing this right.
But then there are these moments like tonight when my breath
is nearly knocked out of me. When I hear this innocence and excitement in my child’s
voice as we talk about our family stories and what she wants from Santa. I don’t
mean to make it sound like we looked like a perfect Christmas painting either.
Prior to this moment, I was cleaning pee off the couch and trying to convince
my kid put clothes on. And when I say we didn't look like a Christmas painting,
I mean it. Since Olivia refused to put
clothes on, she decorated wearing a pair of Halloween panties and a smile. But
this night was just so US. It was imperfect, crazy, and incredible. And like my
tree with so many branches weighted down with 5 ornaments it was absolutely
BEAUTIFUL.
I hope you and yours had a Thanksgiving so incredible that
you were awe struck with thankfulness just as I was all day yesterday and this
night.
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