Adventures in Breast Feeding

Let me just begin this post by saying that I LOVE that I am able to breast feed my child. BUT breast feeding has definitely been an adventure in and of itself and at times it's been a challenging one. Let me also say that I believe breastfeeding is the best possible food for a child BUT I also respect a mom's decision to breastfeed or not. It's definitely not easy.

I've known for a long time that I wanted to breast feed my child. Why wouldn't I, right? After all, there are so many wonderful health benefits for the baby and for me. And all of the photos I had seen of breast feeding moms and babies seemed so idyllic.

There sat the mom on a bench in a beautiful park. She has her shirt up but you can't even tell or see anything really. The baby is at the mom's breast eating peacefully as mom looks down lovingly at her sweet infant. There even seems to be this sort of angelic light surrounding both of them.

Yeah. Right.

Here's how a typical "meal" for Olivia goes:

First, The Boss Lady starts rooting around so we can usually tell when it's time for her to eat. She'll usually give us about 5 minutes of this before reaching what we like to call Nuclear Melt Down Mode. When The Boss Lady is ready to eat, her food better be ready to be served!

While she's screaming at me, I try to quickly pull up my shirt and unsnap my nursing bra. I try to do this gracefully, but it just does not happen. I mean these nursing bras are meant to be user friendly (I think) but I would swear the snaps are child proof. And when you have an infant screaming at you to get her damn dinner ready already, those snaps seem like steel bear traps. Meanwhile, my shirt is up around my chin and you can pretty much tell just how much baby weight I haven't lost yet.

Once my breast is out and ready to be served, she attacks it like a starving man at a Cici's buffet. Her head sort of bobs around on the nipple and she starts breathing heavily. When she finally latches on, she makes a sound akin to a seven year old slurping spaghetti as milk runs down the side of her cheek and onto my belly/arm/jeans/couch cushion/whatever happens to be directly below her mouth.

After she's done, she just sort of falls asleep and her head rolls back. She usually opens one glazed eye and stares up at me as she belches like a frat boy at a keg party. Then, she's out. I'm left trying to get the Bear Trap Nursing Bra to snap back and pull my shirt down one-handed.

Sounds like a bad one-night-stand, right???

And let's not get into the time I had to pump for like 20 minutes to get enough milk out of my breasts so they were no longer as hard or as big as basketballs. Or how my nipples feel so sore that the fabric from my shirt actually makes them hurt. Or how when I get ready in the morning, I'd better put a bra on stat or risk slipping on my own milk on the bathroom tile.

All this being said: breastfeeding REALLY IS worth it!!! For real!! I know there are so many of my mom friends out there trying to do this for their babies who are struggling at times and thinking "Why on earth am I doing this???"

However, like most things in this crazy world of parenthood, it really does get easier!! So, if you've just started or you are thinking about picking up a Costco/Sam's size supply of formula--hang in there!

Besides, the time I get to spend with The Boss Lady as she nurses is so wonderful--even if I do have to listen to a few slurping noises in the meantime.